Sami’s Guide to TV

There’s nothing quiet like autumn in New York

Is Chuck really becoming a good guy?

Bart’s back early and Chucks unconvinced that he’s actually here to stay.  Lily and Bart are going to have a party and decide to make guidelines amongst the newly combined family.  They made some sorta unfair rules like “no going out on a school night”.  All the children are pretty upset.  Vanessa is protesting the selling of a bar where the owner just died, she loves the place and doesn’t want it to change.  Dan is trying out for the soccer team, Nate asked him too.  Serena talks about some of the other men in Lily’s life and how they always seem to take over her.

Chuck confronts Nate asking him when the “bromance” is going to stop.  Nate blows him off and Blair comes charging in to gloat and Chuck having no friends.  Blair says she’ll never sleep with Chuck again and then ventures onto the girls on the steps.  They are ridiculing a girl about wearing tights as pants when Vanessa walks by and tells Blair about her petition.  Vanessa blackmails Blair with pictures of Marcus and the queen so that she’ll help with the charity, I don’t think Blair’s giving in that easy.

Chuck tells Serena he hears rumors that the only reason why there’s new rules around the house is because Bart is doing business with some guys that believe in family values so their family has to be exemplary to make the deal.  Serena’s in a very short red dress when Bart arrives and tell him she’s leaving.  haha she goes “oh I forgot to put on underwear!” while the elevator door is closing.  I hope Bart’s not as bad as they say he is for Serena’s sake.

Blair invites Chuck to a proposition to seduce Vanessa so she gets off Blair’s back, plus Vanessa hates Chuck so Chuck will have a good chase with this one.    Chuck agrees he can never resist a challenge.  Blair and Serena are lunching and Blair says Chucks name with a smile.  In walks Eric and Johnathan, Eric’s new boyfriend, and he’s coming to the party!  Dan got an assist in soccer and Jenny tells him she’s glad he’s going to have some guy friends.  He tries to argue that he’s always had guy friends, lol.

Chuck shows up at Vanessa’s petition and says he wants to buy the new place and not turn it into a “yuppie bar”.  Someone throws food on him.  Lily and Serena have a discussion about her behavior and Lily asks her to just say she doesn’t like the rules next time instead of blantantly disobeying.  Serena claims Barts not her father and that last year was good, because it was just the three of them.  Lily says Serena can benifit from more structure.

Dan finds Sieze’d papers on nates doorsteps.  Nate tells Dan to meet him in the park and Dan doesn’t tell Nate he’s noticed he’s lost his electricity and furniture in his home.  Chuck and Blair up the annie.  Blair promises if he can seduce Vanessa she’ll sleep with Chuck.  “Careful B one thing about making a deal with the devil, he always comes to collect.”  (classic GG line)  Vanessa goes to apologize to Chuck and he tells her he’s not the guy everyone thinks he is and she tells him the bar manager wants to meet with him.  Serena says her mother’s longest relationship was 16 months.  Chuck gave Blair a sexy red dress and she’s wearing it.  Nate and Dan have guys talk about dad’s, parties, and girls.  Nate lies to Dan about what’s going on with his house and family.

Haha the bar manager hugs Chuck and he looks slightly scared.  Jo Kennedy used to go to the bar and Chuck is starting to like the place more and more knowing that all the womenizers and gangstars came to the bar way back when.  Dan tells Jenny about Nate and Jenny says to invite Nate over for dinner.  Bart tell’s Eric’s boyfriend he can’t come to the party, Serena’s obviously upset.  Chuck win’s the manager over and tells Vanessa that he’s going to save the bar, Vanessa admits she was wrong about Chuck.  Chuck invites Vanessa to the party.  Serena comes to the party to and gives Bart a piece of her mind and Bart tells Serena her brother made the call.  Chuck tells Blair that he’s going to buy the bar and sort of blows Blair off for Vanessa.  Vanessa and Blair give each other the evil eye.

Dan’s dad questions Nate and he lies again.  Bart says no to the bar and Vanessa over hears Bart giving Chuck a pretty tough time.  Dan tells Nate he knows about how Nate’s living and that Jenny and him want to help.  Nate gets really mad and tells him to stay out of it.  Vanessa tells Chuck that he deserves better from his dad and Chuck tells her that his dad makes some good points and asks Vanessa to stay (on looks Blair).  Eric says he didn’t invite his boyfriend, because he didn’t want to come out in some random magezine and says Bart warned Eric that might be the case.  Eric reallly feels like Bart is protecting their family.  Oh man Serena totally disses her mom in front of the whole party and news crew.  Serena decided she’s not mad at Chuck she’s actually mad at Lily for deserting them for so many other men.

Blair’s jealous and says game over, because it’s all getting dull.  Eric tells Lily that Serena pretty much raised Eric most of the years Lily was gallivanting with other men.  Eric tells her they can’t make the switch that quick and that they’ll only be a family when they want to be.  Dan talks to daddy about his Nate problems and they decide Nate needs someone to truly be his friend.  Blair erases the picture of Marcus and Katherine and tells her that Chuck was only playing Vanessa.  Vanessa tells Blair that Chuck is a good person when he’s not around her and Chuck intervenes.  He doesn’t disagree with Blair, but it doesn’t seem like he’s too excited to have won the bet by making Vanessa humiliated.

Dan runs into Serena on Nate’s steps.  Chuck tells the manager that he’s not going to give up on the place and the manager doesn’t believe him.  Dan tells Serena to pretend he’s Nate so she can talk about her problems.  Serena does talk about her problems and apologizes for the way she treated Dan.  Serena says she’s glad Nate and Dan are friends and they have an akward moment where it looks like they’re going to kiss, but they don’t.  Serena arrives home to find everyone gone and both Lily and Serena apologize to each other.  Feel good music and Bart says he’s killed the story.  Nate comes to stay with Dan.  Blair can’t say she loves Chuck and this time he gets to walk away this time telling Blair she has to chase him.

Some things never change, Let a new game begin XOXO

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Two stoned guys find what appears to be a woman in an bikini’s upper half floating ashore.  Silicon implants help them identify the woman as a pastor in a town near the beach.  Suspiciously the woman doesn’t even seem to exist until about 5 years ago.  When the lower half is retrieved it’s made clear to the team they’re dealing with someone who choose to switch their gender.  Which creates some very funny moments in the lab.  When Angela sketches what the woman may have looked like before the switch they discover he looks strikingly similar to an old TV evangelist.  After interviewing his wife, the team find out the TV evangelist felt bad about abusing his power to get money from people through the Lord’s words and left his son to take over.  The son did the same thing turning his back on that type of ministry.

While searching through the victims home they find a voice mail message left by a man who was recently cleaned up by the church and it’s pastor.  The message seemed rather desperate and so there we have our first suspect.  The TV evangelist isn’t the only one who’s changed his appearance his son is now dawned in tattoos and punk-like hair.  He talks about God’s word being shared through many people and that appearance shouldn’t be a factor.  He realizes how much him and his father must have been alike in their faith.

The truth comes out that the man on the message was in love with the pastor/TV evangelist.  Even though all the evidence points to him including the boat that the pastor was hit with he still denies his involvement in her death.  Come to find out his jealous wife has done in the pastor.  Well we should have seen that coming.  In the end, the pastor’s son starts teaching at her old church and Bones and Booth attend one of his church services.

Bones and Booth at the church service.

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The show opens with Stella downing a huge glass of wine.  Her sister has taken over all of Stella’s dream wedding plans.  Unfortunately for Stella’s sister, her husband calls off the whole thing.  Stella decides that Ted and her will take over her sister’s wedding by getting married next Saturday, and of course getting to live her actual dream wedding.

Stella’s really excited and pulls the ex-husband card to get Ted in on the deal.  Old Ted tells the moral early “Never invite an ex to your wedding”.  Robin is doing the news with… a monkey????  Japanese news is so weird.  Barney thinks he’s going to plan Ted’s party but gets shot down.  Lily asks Barney why he’s not telling Ted not to get married Barney says the marriage is good for him too, because he wants to get Robin drunk at Ted’s wedding and have sex with her again.  Barney says and I quote “This weekend Robin is the only one I’m bangin’”  The wedding resort is very strange and there’s a now alcohol policy or meat.  Stella’s mad about Ted inviting Robin, because she’s his ex, ya know.  Ted claims Stella should invite her ex, but Stella says no.  Barney’s obviously pretty upset about it.  He decides he’s gonna call and tell her she can’t come.  Barney lies about calling Robin and telling her not to come, he tells her to come on over.

Lily tells Ted he needs to be gentle about the Robin thing.  Stella’s ex isn’t going to let Lucy come up to the wedding.  Stella’s sister asks Barney to do dirty things to her.  Ted drives down to see the ex and tell him he should bring Lucy to the wedding.  He’s a complete karate psycho.  It didn’t take much convencing really and Tony breaks down, because he misses Stella.  Oh my gosh! Ted invited the ex.  Barney’s not hanging in there so good, because Stella’s sister is bringing on the heat.  Can he hold out for Robin?  Stella’s real mad about Tony and then in walks Robin, DOH!

Stella says she should talk to Robin and Ted should tell Tony to leave.  Ted says he should talk to Robin and when he does she’s greatful that he wants her to leave.  Robin tells Ted he was sorta her safty net and there still might be something between them.  Robin admits she hates her job and that she’s going to move back to New York.  She also tells Ted not to get married because he’s rushing into the marriage and “disappearing into someone else’s life”.  Ted get’s a little upset and tells Robin he’s glad she’s not coming if she feels that way.  Robin asks to stay in Barney’s room and he has another woman in his room.  Get it together Barnicles!  Robin goes home and on her way sees Stella escaping with Tony.  Poor Ted is left alone and Stella’s kissing her ex-husband.  What a meany Ted’s the best doesn’t she know?

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Aw the recap.  Last episode Marjorie sabatoges her chances of winning the challenge by being a Debbie Downer.  Clarke comes into the shoot with too much confidence about getting the best shot last time and ends up getting an awful photo that sends her packing….”You wanna be on top!”

The girls talk about their parents over breakfast.  Elina confesses that her mother is very conservative and Russian and she was very controlling.  Lauren Brie talks about last weeks panel and Sheena asures her she’ll stay.  The girls think Analeigh’s not good enough to be a model and make a prediction that she won’t be going abroad.  Oh, and they tell that to her face and she’s pretty depressed about it naturally.  Finally we get to hear from Sheena I feel like she’s disappeared these past couple episodes.

Cue Tyra!!!  She reads this corny poem about how she’s going to help them get a signature pose.  Tyra brags on her eyes….ya….  Tyra’s going to give the girls twenty frames with a critique at the end to help them find that signature pose.  Analeigh’s up first and she decides to play up her legs concidering her ice skating background.  Tyra tells her she needs to watch her lips and don’t take the skater thing to literal whatever that means.

McKey uses her background as well in a boxer type pose.  Tyra tells her to act like she just got punched.  They decide her strength is her neck.  Next up, Sam.  Her signiture pose is all about her hands and Tyra tells her not to make her hands the focus but rather an extension of herself.  Onto Lauren Brie…

She says that her signature pose is awkward and what she does in her shoot is almost too awkward.  Poor thing I just don’t know if she’s thought as much as the other girls about her career as a model.  Tyra tells her to go for the surfer chick look but she ends up making claws.  Tyra calls them empty and in a later interview with Lauren she’s crying.

Sheena says she thinks her signature pose is diva-esc.  Sheena realizes she needs to be concious of where her body is so she doesn’t look hoochie.  Tyra tells her she thinks her pose is like an african dance.  So they start sort of gracefully moving their arms around.  Next is Joslyn.  Joslyn doesn’t know what her signature pose is and she says, “I just like to pose kinda wide.”  It cuts to the other girls laughing.  Tyra notices that when Joslyn tries to get intense she goes stiff creating a very awkward look.  They decide Joslyn’s thing is her profile.  Elina’s next and her shots come out looking very catalogue.  All her pictures look very controlled.  Marjorie thinks her thing is the hunch back, but she takes it too far.  In the end she did a really great job playing up her awkwardness and it looked really good.  Uhoh, it’s a surprise challenge!  Tyra picks Marjorie as the winner and Marjorie picks Analeigh and they get to pick diamond necklaces.  They are gorgeous!

Tyra Mail!!!!  “You better bring it or you’re never going to work in this town again.”  Sam’s worried about not being able to bring it like she did last week.  They show up to a beautiful theater and oh man it’s going to be used as their background.  They are immulating the Firercee Awards show, but only the off screen embarrasing parts.

Marjorie is up first and she has to go pee but can’t get out of the dress.  She’s does fanominal!

Samantha can’t read her cue cards.  She starts off rocky and too dramatic, but she does have a few good ones in there.

Elina she’s the over emotional crier and she has to try to let go, but of course it’s extremely hard for her.  Jay tries to give her a pep talk and she talks about her insecurities.  She lets go and gets some great pictures.

Lauren Brie is the actress who trips.  She seems very posey and more natural, but how to you trip gracefully?  Jay equates her to a maniquen.

McKey is the model who thinks she’ll get the award but she doesn’t.  She does good.

Sheena is starlet whose dress get’s stepped on.  She didn’t make it believable.

Joslyn is another starlet has on her same gown.  She gets some good shots

Analeigh she’s the interviewer with attitude.  She does good once she immitates bitchiness.

Only 7 will be left after next panel.  They are all nervous about it no one really feels safe this week.  Trya has so werid hood thing on at panel.  She lists the prices which we all know and introduces the judges.  The guest judge is Mike Rosenthal.  Tyra claims she has the hood, becasue it’s theatrical “Little Black Ridding Hood”.

Mckey they says it’s beautiful, but Tyra says it would be more interesting if they could see a fight going on inside.

Sheena they tell her about the cheat, because her eyes look sorta possessed because they are over so far.

Analeigh Mike says he’s impressed with her and everyone else agrees.

Samantha they don’t like it that much because it doesn’t seem like she’s portraying the emotion.

Joslyn they say it’s the prettiest shot they’ve seen of her.  She breaks down because she says she always felt insecure about her nose and she’s glad the panel enjoys her profile.

Marjorie they love it and it is pretty darn awesome.

Lauren they say it’s not believable and Paulina says she’s sliding back

Elina they don’t think she’s overemotional enough.

The judges think Sheena is going down hill.  They feel McKey is doing better.  They decide Analeigh might have serious model potential.  They don’t think Sam’s that good although the photographer did a great job.  They say Joslyn’s profile is wonderful.  And they give Marjorie rave reviews.  Paulina says the Elina just isn’t cutting it, because she just tries to control everything.  Lauren Brie isn’t their favorite and Nigel says she’s just been coasting through.

The order of the girls staying is as follows….

Marjorie, Analeigh, McKey, Samantha, Elina, Josyln.  The bottom two are Sheena and Lauren Brie.

Lauren Brie looses to Sheena’s personality.

America’s Next Top Model is on Wednesday nights at 8/7c on the CW.

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There’s a new girl named Kimberly and she’s from Las Vegas.  She’s really mean to Anne.  Anne and Ethan get paired up on their marriage assignment.  Ethan is a stay at home dad which is a completely new concept to him and Anne is a high powered attorney.  Silver is having a half birthday party at a cemetery.  Naomi and Adriana talk about their lives and makes plans to hang out.  Adriana is auditioning against Anne for a movie later that day.  Anne does pretty great, and while she’s performing Adriana is practicing and failing so she takes some drugs…

Themes song!

Naomi meets Ethan and Anne at the Peach Pit and tries to ruin Anne and Ethan’s time by being incredibly awkward.  Ethan explains that it’s really over this time.  Silver is showing Dixon what she wants to do with her sister’s house while she’s gone and then what she wants to do to Dixon.  Dixon and Silver are going to have a horror movie marathon, but Dixon doesn’t do horror movies.  Anne’s grandmother and mother are fighting over her swiming naked.  Annie’s dad, Harry, tells Debbie about how his baby’s momma, Tracy, wants to hire a PI to find their son.  Debbie gets a little defensive and reluctantly lets him go through with it.

Naomi goes to Adriana’s house and her mother insults her, but lets her know that she got the part in the movie over Annie.  Adriana isn’t answering her phone and is out doing drugs in some guys car.  Mean while Silver and Dixon are watching horror movies, but Dixon is asleep and has to rush home when he finds out how late he is.  Dixon gets yelled at and Annie has lost her baby in the bathroom under her jeans.  Debbie makes a Dirty Dancing joke that no one understands.

Dixon tells Silver his parents are insisting on going to her birthday party so he has a better time making curfew and Silver tells Dixon she was trying to share something important about her last night with the horror movies.  Silver invites Ethan and Anne to the party and they have this awkward are we both just going or are we going together.  Kimberly gets introuble for talking to Anne in class and she quotes Fast Times at Ridgemount High.  Lots of great quotes in this one.

Tracy tells Harry she already hired a PI for their son and he very mad.  She guilt trips him into feeling like it’s all ok and she tries to kiss him.  He shoots her down luckily, stay away from bad girls Mr. Principal.  Kim starts hitting on Mr. Matthews in detention, then she asks another guy in detention who she can get drugs.  Naomi catches Adriana in lies and finds her drugs.  Unlucky for them there’s a drug search today!  Naomi takes the drugs and Anne is the whitness, but Naomi runs away like and idiot and tries to flush the drugs down the toilet all obvious-like gets caught with the cocaine.  Mr. Matthews tells the principal he shouldn’t have done that and the principal says he had the right to do it

Ethan and Anne tries to convince Adriana she needs to fess up, but of course selfish little Adriana is unwilling to protect Naomi like Naomi protected her.  Tracy is tearing Naomi’s room apart looking for more drugs.  Tracy blames it on Naomi’s dad and starts a huge family fight that ends in Naomi finds out that her dad might not be able to help her get out of this one.  Adriana shows up and Naomi tells her how much trouble she’s in.  Naomi tells her she’s gotta fess up so she can get help and Adriana asks if she can’t take an hour to explain things to her mom and then she’ll confess.  When Adriana gets home her mother has made a celebration party for her because they were going to loose the house, but she doesn’t have to now that Adriana has got the job.  Hurray for more pressure on Adriana.

Silver and Dixon go visit Johnny Romone’s statue.  Mr. Matthew met his date online and she’s a crazy actress chick who’s doesn’t understand any of his jokes.  Hurray Ingrid Michaelson’s new song Be OK is playing in the background of the beginning of Silver’s party.  Anne asks Silver not to make out with Dixon infront of her and Ethan so things are awkward.  Harry admits to Debbie that Tracy kissed him and Debbie freaks out (they went to the movie showing at the cemetary, btw).

Kim interrupts Mr. Matthew’s date and totally makes fun of her without her knowing.  Naomi’s dad’s attorney says she should confess, because Adriana doesn’t show up to do it herself.  The movie is an old black and white film and Silver snuggles up close to Dixon.  Naomi’s learning about all the trouble she’s going to be in and she’s still holding onto the fact that Adriana will show up.  Kim meets up with Mr. Matthews again and he tells her that she’s being inappropriate and that if she has a crush on him he’s way too old for her and her teacher.  She says she doesn’t have one and that, that would be “gross” she just didn’t want him to catch his attress date’s stupidity.  Harry meets up with Kim, but it’s revealed to us that she’s not a new student.  She’s actually and undercover cop…bum bum bum…

Naomi is trying to get ahold of Ethan but he has his phone off and Annie tells him that it’s not a date.  He tries to kiss her, but gets stopped by the scary part in the movie.  When will those two figure it out.  The scene cuts away to Adriana passed out on the ground with EMT’s around her.  Naomi’s calling her and yelling at her in a message and claims that their frienship is over.

Lots happens in each episode of 90210 so if you missed this weeks catch next weeks on the CW at 8/7c every Tuesday.

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Kids in the fall of 2008 I had a little problem…

Ted is tired of transporting back and forth from New Jersey (where Stella lives) and New York (where Ted lives).  Everytime he goes from one place to the next he seems to miss really important things like… Barney picking up lesbians and Robin getting that new broadcasting job.  So, Stella and Ted decide to invited Ted’s pals to New Jersey for a night, but they all refuse.  Apparently New Yorkers are born and raised to hate New Jersey and Lily reminds Ted that he’s the biggest hater or New Jersey in all the land.  This is of course coupled with some hiarious flashbacks of Ted in an I Hate New Jersey shirt and him being quoted as saying “I hate line cutters more than I hate New Jersey, well that’s not true there’s nothing I hate more than New Jersey” or him declining an offer to go out with Marshall and Lily because he “needs to drop a massive New Jersey”.  He was on the way to the bathroom.  So Ted claims that he’s never going to have to go to New Jersey after him and Stella get married and she moves in with him in New York.

Cue Theme SONG!!!

Robin is having the worst time at Metro News One so she was so excited to have her last broadcast there.  She uses and incredibly sappy speech writen by Ted which he also used when he left the swim team…as the towel boy.  Robin had to go to her new job the next night, but the rest of the gang head with Ted to Stella’s house.  When they get there Stella didn’t find a sitter so they have to stay in.  They decide to play board games in Stella’s basement which of course is awful for the rest of the gang to not be out at a bar.  Stella overhears the gang talking poorly of New Jersey and she makes them feel bad so they end up doing the basement thing.  The basement is of course pathetic and Stella has no beer.  Barney tells a lame joke about the fish bowl in the basement stating, “I don’t mess with fish bowls unless they have my two favorite fish the sucker fish and the blow fish.”  No one gives him a pound so he claims he will not put down his pound until it is rightfully pounded.  Stella drops the bomb on Ted that she thinks he’s moving in once they get married.  Once again there’s been some serious miscommunications between those two.

Robin gets off work to tell the gang that it wasn’t her first day at all but instead just another interview.  While she got the call she put the phoen down to do a victory dance and completely misses the fact that it was just an interview.  Robin says she wants to get her old job back and the gang tells her not to do it, because she hated that awful job.  Barney is still holding up his pound trying to make lame jokes. Stella says the beer is bad and asks Ted to go to PriceCo to get some alcohol.  While there Marshall finds out that he actually enjoys New Jersey.  Barney’s arm is killing him and he offers to pay Lily 10,000 dollars to pound him.

Robin does call to get her new job and her old boss gives her 30 minutes to get back to her old job.  She takes a pink bike with bows, because…why wouldn’t you.  Ted finally tells Stella he can’t move to New Jersey and Stella and him get into a huge fight.  Ted’s pretty unreasonable about everything and Stella gets so mad.  Marshall proclaims his love for New Jersey and how he’s just too big to fit in New York.  He quickly takes it back when Lily gives him the evil eye and he says “Just kidding”.  Robin makes a sweet jump over traffic and gets to the studio on time.  She begins reading the prompt, but decides, no matter if she gets the new job or not, she’s really done at Metro News One.

Ted goes up to check on Stella after their huge fight and Lucy comes out to ask if Ted can read her a bed time story.  He decides that he will indeed move to New Jersey for Stella and Lucy.  Lily finally gives Barney a pound when they watch Robin on TV quitting her job and they realize that they helped her quit.  Then he tells a masterbation joke and asks for a high five which he’s of course denied, poor Barney.  The next day when the whole gang + Stella are in the bar Robin tells them she didn’t get the new job.  However they did offer her a job as a foriegn correspondant in Japan.  The look on Barney’s face broke my heart.

Check out the next How I Met Your Mother episode on CBS at 8:30 pm every Monday.

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“In five years many things change…”

Susan Mayer:

Jackson meets Mike and little MJ for the first time in this episode and Mike threatens to take Susan to court if she doesn’t allow Jackson to go on a outing with Mike.  Susan reluctantly agrees and gives Jackson a quick run down of Mike’s favorite things including his love for the Indianapolis Colts (hurray Indiana)!

Surprisingly Mike and Jackson come back from their date good friends and Susan is relieved until her and Jackson are having some foreplay upstairs and he starts nibbling on her ear.  Susan realizes that Jackson’s never done this before and must have learned that she liked it from Mike.  Of course because she’s Susan she completely flips out and tells Jackson he can no longer hang out with Mike because Mike taught him what he’s dubbed “the lobe nibble”.

The next day when Jackson has to cancel his next date with Mike on account of Susan.  But then he also cancels on Susan.  Susan takes this as a way for Jackson to go see Mike without Susan knowing and she over reacts again to go to the bar the boys were supposed to meet at.  Jackson’s really not there and Susan ends up making a fool out of herself, once again, in front of Mike.  Susan tells Mike she’s not sure if she’s comfortable with letting Jackson see her through Mike’s eyes because of how awful she behaved after the accident.  Mike reassures her (good ol’ Mike) that she’s amazing in his eyes and Susan agrees to let them hang out again.

Lynette Scavo:

Lynette feels disconnected from her son Porter at the beginning of the episode, because she seems to hardly know anything about him.  Luckily for her the younger son tells her about SilverFizz which is a MySpace type deal and she makes herself an account.  She starts talking to Porter under a fake alias about his friends and poetry.  Like you might have guessed Porter starts falling in love with his mother’s alias and sends her a sex poem.  She sends him a heartfelt let down letter about how she thinks he’s an amazing guy but her (her alias) has a boyfriend.  Unfortunately she signed it “Love Mom”.

Porter is furious and stops talking to Lynette altogether.  Lynette tells him she’s sorry, but she just missed their old conversations so much.  She says she was just so happy that they were finally talking to each other again and Porter reminds her that he wasn’t talking to her only her alias.  Tom tries to stop everything from the very beginning if only she’d have listened.

Bree Van de Kamp and Gabrielle Solis:

The worlds of Bree and Gabby collide in this weeks episode because Gabby is invited to a party that Bree is catering.  Gabby’s just ecstatic about getting the invite, but becomes quickly disgusted by Carlos massaging a customer in their living room.  She asks him to take the job at the country club, because he’ll get more money and steadier clientele.  Carlos getting the job makes him the help and the help can’t be invited to an upper class party.  Bree is the person responsible for telling Gabrielle they are ‘uninvited”.

Bree’s got problems of her own her book is taking off and she’s trying to do so many things at once.  Good things our Bree’s a fantastic multi-tasker, but unfortunately Orson is getting the short end of the stick when it comes to Bree’s time and attention.  She’s missed several outting with him for interviewing and hob nobbing.  She landed a huge interview that will be broadcasted on National airwaves.  She fails to mention that Orson is her husband and keeps her name as Van de Kamp on the book instead of Hodge.  Orson and her have a big blow out fight and he tells her the reason she doesn’t mention him in interviews is because she doesn’t want the world to know she’s married to a criminal.  Bree agrees that it would be bad for her image, but after the party she’d come home early and make him a pot roast.

Gabby crashes the party by entering from the kitchen door.  She runs into Bree who tells her she can stay for a little while, but not to push it.  Gabby’s desire to be one of the rich and famous takes over and she ends up staying and getting Carlos escorted off the premises.  She meets him in the parking lot and confesses why she did it.  She feels like she’s lost everything her beauty and money and possession and that she just wants to be happy.  Carlos tells her that when he massages the wealthy they tell him how unhappy they really are and he wishes Gabby could see how good the two of them had it now.

Bree gets home very late from the party and Orson has been waiting on her to cook.  She says she’s very sorry, but he doesn’t care.  He tells her she has to make the pot roast, because she promised she would.  Even though Bree has been up all day long she goes the kitchen to make it and silently cries to herself.  Over her soulder you can Orson with a creepy grin on his face pouring himself a glass of wine.  We knew there was something off about him.

Dave Williams and Karen:

Eddie Britt is all upset because Karen has called her a name that she tells Dave they must leave immediately.  He calms her down and explains to her that they absolutely must stay in Wisteria Lane because they can be happy there.  Dave Williams gives a visit to Karen and asks her to apologize to Eddie.  As we all know Karen is a feisty old lady and refuses.  Dave tell her that he knows her and that she’s a lonely old woman who doesn’t have anyone to come visit her.

The next day Toby, Karen’s cat, is missing and her window is mysteriously left open.  When she goes outside to look for it Dave asks her what’s wrong.  McKlusky asks for some help, but Dave says he’ll only help if she promises to apologize to Eddie.  Karen apologizes and asks Eddie if she could please tell Dave that she did.  Eddie thinks that it’s strange but promises to relay the message.  Sure enough the next day Toby is back safe and sound.  Karen knows what she must do and brings flowers to Katherine as payment to use her comptuer to do some research on Dave Williams.

That concludes this weeks episode of Desperate Housewives.

Look for it again on ABC at 9/8c on Sunday.

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